October 17 Pearl

October 17

I had a humbling experience today. I was fired by a patient and their family. They requested a different nurse. In my five plus years of nursing I have not experienced this.

I’m experiencing many different emotions. Shame, rejection, maybe even a bit of anger? I’m wondering what did I do? Am I losing my touch? I thought I was called to be a hospice nurse? Maybe not?

The reason given for not wanting me back is because I was emotional and making it harder for them. I was tearful and empathized with their situation. This was not received as empathetic, but rather as making it harder on them.

I’ve cried with other families before and never been perceived as making it harder? So its a bit confusing. I sure don’t want to become calloused and cold towards people’s experiences.

Just last week I had no emotions for a situation that seemed really sad to me. I wondered if I was becoming calloused? Now this week a situation touches me and I am empathetic and its received as making it harder for them?

I teach others that its not about what happens to you, but how you respond. My response tells me more about me than anything. I need to ask The Lord what is it you want me to learn from this and move on…

My Pearl today is that I will learn and grow from this and it will make me a better nurse and hopefully a better person. My emotions may be up and down, but its okay, The Lord has a plan for each thing he allows into our lives.

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