January 11 Pearl

I read the passage about the woman who had been bleeding for 12 years. I can’t begin to imagine having your period for 12 years. Back in the bible times women were considered defiled when they were bleeding. She lived in isolation and defilement for 12 years.

She believed that if she could just touch the hem of Jesus’s robe she would be healed. Such faith she had in Jesus.

I remember years ago when I was in therapy and my therapist told me that he was out of ideas to help me with my emotional instability. I would cry like an infant daily and I could not handle my emotions.

No matter what I felt if it was anger, sadness, hopelessness or grief I would feel it to the extreme and could not function well in the midst of the emotions. The only time I could function was when I felt nothing. Of course it’s not possible to live life without feeling emotions, although I did try.

I flew to California to a special therapist who understood the brain and the effects of abuse and neglect on the brain. The therapist told me that I wasn’t crazy I simply needed more brain strength in order to process my emotions. Like a muscle my brain did not have the strength to pick up my emotions. My emotions were too big for my brain.

The solution was to have another person help me carry the emotions when they became to big for me to process on my own. This sounds a little bit like what the Lord suggested that as Christians we help carry one another’s burdens.

I went home and decided the Lord was bigger than anyone and he could help me process the emotions. I claimed the scripture: We can come boldly before your throne of grace to find mercy and grace in our time of need.

For seven years I claimed this scripture and cried out my emotions to the Lord. I believed he could heal me and today I can process emotions by myself in a mature way.

My Pearl is that my faith grew and I had the joy of relying on the Lord. I discovered He can deliver!

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