Monthly Archives: September 2016

September 30 Pearl

September 30

I was reminded today that most of us miss the joy of the current day by regretting the past and dreading the future.

How many of our thoughts throughout the day are about the current moment?

I woke up thinking about what I needed to do today for work. As I was driving I was annoyed by other drivers. While I was driving I was thinking about past experiences/relationships that hurt me. This was a waste of time.

I did live in the moment with each of my patient’s. It was a rather emotional day as I heard some stories about heartaches of the past. If a person is dying and remembering heartache that has not been resolved with family it really complicates the grieving process.

It’s sad that some people would say to a dying relative, I’m not going to be at your funeral. What a thing to say. Even if you thought it, would you have to say it?

If a relationship can’t be mended when a person is dying, what else can be done? What an awful feeling for someone who is dying and knows that a relative will not talk to them. If they won’t talk to them when they are dying then there is no hope for the relationship. What a sad sad scenario.

My Pearl today is that I did get to live in the moment with my patients through their heartache. I get to grieve with them and be glad to be with them while they are hurting.

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September 29 Pearl

September 29

Today was a full day of relationship building. I discovered today that I am quirky. On one hand I’m quiet and ponder things deeply and then in a moment’s notice I can be spunky and even argumentative and fight for what I think is right.

I find it interesting that within the same heart and mind lies all these quirks.

Our staff meeting was fun this morning, lots of joking that only we would understand. I like this about our staff we can have fun and be serious at the same time. We take our job seriously, but we can also have fun through out the process.

Mom and dad are getting settled in their house in Florida and I’m really looking forward to going down to see them next week.

The flag was flying at half mast today and I’m wondering who was it lowered for? I know there are murders on a regular basis. I got to thinking how important do you have to be to have the world fly their flags at half mast?

I think it’s usually a political figure or a person who dies as a hero. ? I’m afraid that soon we can fly the flag at half mast 7 days a week.

I guess I should turn on the news to see who they have lowered the flag for today?

When I look around the world I remember that Ecclesiastes says that there is nothing new under the sun. I think it revolves in different forms. Back in the day, Paul was a prisoner, chained to a prison guard while he wrote a lot of the New Testament.

I think most of us when we are stressed don’t write anything worth reading, but sit and lament. I sure would have used, being in prison as and excuse not to write. Paul didn’t. He did what the Lord called him to do no matter what was going on in his life.

My Pearl todaya: there is nothing I can go through today that is new and the Lord is with me through it all.

September 28 Pearl

September 28

Three years ago today I was just a couple days post op from my second neck surgery. I had no idea at that time that I would need two more surgeries.

I like Facebook time hop because it reminds me of memories that I had forgotten. Today three years ago I posted the song, Blessings, by Laura Story.

I shared that I had sung the song with the nurse right after I woke up from surgery during excruciating pain from muscle spasms. I also shared that the nurse had a child at home with cerebral palsy and had experienced struggle of a different kind. I have no recollection of this memory.

It would sound like something I would do..trying to sing a song that would help me through the pain. The lyrics are: What if your blessings come through raindrops, what if your healing comes through tears, what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know your near.

What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise..the pain reminds our hearts that this is not our home! What if the greatest disappointments of this life are a reminder that my heart has a thirst this world can’t satisfy..

Do we consider this philosophy when we are hurting..? It’s easier to consider this after our pain is over? Although I don’t remember this nurse and singing, I do remember the pain!!! It felt like my neck was in labor and I cried like a baby.

My Pearl is that the Lord works in unique ways when we are in pain and I don’t even have to remember it.

September 27 Pearl

September 27

Well I was a little tired today, my watch said I had four hours and one minute of restful sleep last night. Wonder if it had anything to do with watching the debate before I went to bed. It’s kind of hard to wind down after watching such a childish debacle.

I’ve never figured out how two adults can say such opposite things on national TV and they both seemed to be convinced that they are both right?

Now I’m not politically savvy nor do I really want to put forth the effort to do the hours of research it would take to become savvy.

Here is what I find interesting, how can anyone be sure of anything either candidate said? Who is to say they aren’t in this together and one or both of them are being paid to say what they are supposed to say? Are they mere puppets?

What if the whole thing is a hoax and both of them are playing a part and they laugh at us all when they get off stage?

I get so tired of hearing things that are supposedly true about either candidate and then people seem to believe one or the other? How can we be so sure of anything we read or hear? Yet I hear people that are so sure of this or that..I have to question everything at this point.

I saw something on the 911 attack and the theory is that our own government did it. Well it actually makes sense, but I don’t know? The point is though, if it is true that our government would plan such an attack on ourselves to bring the economy out of recession..well there is NOTHING I wouldn’t expect them to do or not to do.

So all that to say, the only thing we can be sure of is what has and is actually happening, not what anyone says.

I think there is a good chance that it’s all a show and Trump and Hilary are having drinks and laughing after the fact. I’m just sayin..

The Pearl is once again the Lord’s in control and come what may He will be with us as we go through it and give us the strength to stay true to Him. He is the only truth we can be sure of in this world. I pray that I can stay connected to His spirit so that I can please Him no matter what I do.

September 26 Pearl

September 26

Today I had a moment of clarity. I was asking one of my patient’s the last time she got out of bed and she couldn’t remember. I thought to myself, she would give anything to be able to walk out to my car and I do it without a pinch of gratitude.

Some days we just need to stop and put ourselves in other people’s shoes and then we really don’t have much to complain about.

Tonight in our small group we talked about keeping a gratitude journal in order to fight off negative thoughts. Being grateful for the positive things in our life is a way to realize what we do have instead of looking at what we don’t have.

I was thinking today how I am still feeling empty since my son is gone to college. It feels like it’s been at least 3 months, but instead when I look at the calendar it’s only been about 4 weeks. Oh boy.

Time is going by so slowly. I need to keep a gratitude list.

Let’s start with the fact that I’m NOT at the presidential debate. I am watching it and oh my goodness! Two adults who seems to think they have permission to be rude to one another on national television under cover of a presidential debate.

It’s like watching a well controlled Jerry Springer Political show.

Sadly I’ve learned to not trust politicians because it seems they all say what they need to say in order to sound good in the moment.

Lord help us all, this country is in trouble.

My Pearl today is that no matter what happens in politics, You Lord are still the King of this universe! God is on his throne and He will not be dethroned.

Since the Lord can speak through donkey’s; The Lord can work through anyone who becomes president. Come Lord Jesus and do your stuff in spite of the chaos in this world.

September 25 Pearl

September 25

Today while riding my bike, I noticed how people were decorating their front porches and I thought I wish my porch looked like that. Then it dawned on me, why couldn’t I decorate my front porch for fall?

I came home and power washed our front porch. I was soaked from head to toe, but hey the cobwebs and dirt are gone. If I’m going to decorate the front porch I knew I had to clean it first. It wouldn’t make any sense to decorate a dirty front porch, now would it? Of course not.

In the past I’ve only had a scarecrow and a wreath. I did find those two items and proceeded to put these items up after I cleaned the porch. It looks so bare.

Fall is my favorite season and Christmas is my favorite holiday so those are the only two I decorate for. I’m not much of a decorator. I can do it, but it takes everything out of me. It does not come naturally for me.

I obsess over decorating and look at something and put it up then take it down and then put something up and then take it down. I stand back and look at it and say nah. On an on..it wears me out.

I decorated for my son’s open house and it took me 6 months. I can eventually pull it off, but I’m too much of a perfectionist so it’s easier to just not decorate for the holidays.

I was able to meet my sister and her family for dinner tonight. They were on their way home and were driving through this area. My niece will be 30 and so I found a big balloon that said 30 and met them for dinner. It was great to see them. My other niece who was with them is expecting her first baby and is due in a couple of weeks.

It was great to catch up with all of them. I can tell I’m getting older and much more nostalgic. When I get a chance to see them I value every minute. Life is so short. I never know when it’s going to be the last time I see them. Geez I’m really getting old.

My Pearl today is that I was inspired to decorate and although I don’t FEEL like decorating I’m going to do it and I’m going to like how it looks when I’m done. I also got to see my family from out of town and spend some quality time with them.

September 24 Pearl

September 24

Well today I was able to sleep in which has been hard for me to do lately. I think it’s the first night that I felt I was really able to sleep deeply since I stopped taking Benadryl. It’s been about 5 weeks. I’ve been drinking some hot tea that I found at Fresh Thyme that is supposed to help you sleep. So who knows maybe it’s finally working?

Or maybe it’s because I didn’t have anything I had to think about doing today. Generally I wake up and can’t go back to sleep because my brain will start thinking about what I need to do.

It was a nice day so I was able to ride my bike 11 miles. It was so refreshing.

My shoulder is now popping when I move my arm a certain way and then simultaneously I get a shooting current of pain down my arm and immediately drop whatever I’m holding.

I’ve been doing some extra icing in hopes to decrease the pain and inflammation.

These verses spoke to my heart today: Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us…

I do believe that the Lord can do more than we can ever imagine. The problem is that sometimes he doesn’t take the problem away he wants to teach us through the problem.

One of my friends from our small group is having such severe back pain that he needed to use a cane today. The doctor has told him there is nothing they can do except pain management. Wow! This is heartbreaking.

I realize the Lord could take his pain away, but then we all know that sometimes he doesn’t choose this route and he wants to help us grow through our pain.

I cringe when I think about this reality, but I know that it’s more important that we grow in maturity instead of just being pain free. But oh I don’t like the journey of pain. Am I not mature enough already? Hah, obviously not.

My Pearl today is that in spite of my shoulder I can still ride my bike and do other exercises. I will survive and grow through my pain. I can be grateful that I don’t need a cane.