Today my husband has been sober and clean for one year. I’m so proud of him and the hard work he has put into staying sober. I don’t struggle with alcohol, so I don’t understand it. What I do understand is the effects of alcoholism. I’m grateful that I still get to be married to my husband. Last year our marriage was over, but today it’s thriving.
We are studying a book on shame, by Christine Caine, in our small group. The study gives me a lot of good principles to ponder. One such principle: focus on what Jesus has done for you and not what has been done to you.
Shame takes your dignity from you, it leaves you feeling like something is wrong with the way you were created and your beyond repair. Shame leaves you with a feeling of being flawed forever.
The question was asked how has shame kept you from receiving love? For me, I have often felt unworthy of being loved. Like I am undeserving of love. This leads to rejecting love from others because you believe you don’t deserve to be loved.
Shame is a black hole that takes a lot of prayer to get out of. It leads to self pity and not asking for help. If we want to overcome shame we have to deal with the pain that is attached to it.
In this study the statement is made: The degree in which you are willing to embrace the pain of recovery is the degree to which you will recover. It’s up to us how hard we want to work to overcome shame.
From my experience where you find shame, you find extreme pain. Until we are willing and then able to deal with that pain, we will not fully recover.
My Pearl today is my husband and his hard work on staying on track. Also, The Lord’s provision for me to be in a group where we can grow to be better women, in spite of our history with shame.