August 15 Pearl

August 15

Today was full of resolving problems and the good news is that most of them were resolved or well on their way. At least I feel like something was accomplished today. Now tomorrow it may all be undone, but for today problems were resolved.

Tonight I saw two kids out in front of our house, one was on a bike and the other was walking in front of him. Well the kid on the bike accidentally bumped into the one walking and he went wailing down the street like he had just gotten stabbed.

I felt so very bad for the kid on the bike, his shoulders hunched down in shame and he yelled, sorry! He had barely bumped the kid, it wasn’t like he had ran over him.

I felt nauseated as I watched the sad little boy push his bike down the road watching as the other little boy was probably going to tell on him. You could tell the boy pushing the bike was walking real slow in anticipation of being shamed for hurting the other little boy.

I went out in the driveway and stood out there, trying to look all important n stuff in my nurse’s uniform. In hopes the little kid would come back down and play with the little boy on the bike. But to no avail, my nurse’s uniform didn’t draw any comfort from the little wounded boy and he continued down the street to tell on the other boy.

I wanted to shout at him, hey come back here and I wanted to make the little boy on the bike feel better. I think I related to him because I felt sick to my stomach as I saw the body language of the shamed little boy. Ugh even writing about it now I feel this sinking feeling.

After that incident, about 15 minutes later, a couple of young boys from the neighborhood rang the doorbell. They were selling fundraisers for school. The one my son graduated from. Of course I bought a couple of things to help them out. It reminded me of my son and yes I’m glad that we aren’t doing fundraisers anymore. But I still felt this little pang of longing.

My Pearl today is that I survived without to much anxiety and I was able to support school aged kids.

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