I had a good day, but I find myself real cranky tonight. I get home and I’m muttering under my breath about, it’s a new thing, called not working after you get off work..obviously I’m being sarcastic. I had a few things to do when I walked in the door and I was irritable and popping off stupid like snide remarks. Thanks goodness it was only the dogs who heard me! How embarrassing.
I didn’t even know I was frustrated until I started listening to my thoughts and I’m like whoa lady, what’s your problem?
Then I looked at the calendar oh, I see! No one will ever convince me that there is nothing like PMS. It’s real and it’s annoying to everyone involved. It comes over you like a blanket of stupid and makes absolutely no sense.
You know your PMSing when all your complaints make no sense! And you want to eat a gallon of ice cream and a snickers bar.
At a time like this I’m really grateful nothing real bad is going on in my life because if it was I’d blow it out of proportion. So I pray the Lord keeps my mouth shut. If I can just remember that over the next week I should be all good.
I am so grateful for our dogs. They don’t care when I’m muttering to myself and irritable. They look at me like I’m a little nutty, but hey what’s new?
My Pearl today..well let me think long and hard about this..let me put my high top boots and on and go digging in the poop for my Pearl today…
I would have to say its the fact that I’m all woman..yeah! That was lame. How about the fact that I’m not going through menopause yet..? Is that good? I think that is a Pearl? Maybe my Pearl is the dogs..they love me even when I’m PMSing..they still sit close to me.
I hung out with a friend tonight and we went out to the country to go shooting. I’ve only shot my gun a couple of times and so I was brand new. I bought big ear muffs and lots of ammunition.
We had a rifle and another gun to shoot. I liked the rifle the best because I could actually get near to the target. Most of the time I was way above the target. I would set my sights on what I thought was the bulls eye, but each time I was way off.
I guess I could give someone a good scare. Or I could aim at their legs and maybe hit them close to where it matters.
The only way for me to get close to the target was to set my sights as if I was going to hit the ground and then I would end up hitting the target. This was frustrating.
Sometimes life works this way. We set our sights on what we think is the target, but then we seem to miss our goal by a mile.
Tonight was a good night hanging with my friend and enjoying the country. We drove around in a dune buggy and let the fresh country wind blow through our hair. I do miss the simple relaxed country life. I can see myself living in the country again someday.
I noticed when we drove by houses with the dune buggy, people would look to see who was going by. The reason for this is because very few people drive by. In town, most generally we don’t look every time someone drives by because it’s a normal occurrence.
My Pearl today is the joy of getting to go out into the free country to shoot with my friend. We made memories and enjoyed learning.
Today I helped mom start the packing process. She has moved over 20 times in her lifetime. She had some tricks to share.
She said you cover all your undergarment drawers with towels on the top. This way when the movers take out each drawer they can’t see your underwear.
Another good thing about it is that when you arrive to your new house and you say, boy I need myself a shower, where are those bloody towels? Well, you’ll know, they are in your underwear drawer! Go get yourself a towel and away you go.
I think this is a smart idea for anyone who is moving.
Mom, is actually my mother in law, but I call her mom. They are my parents for all I know. Today as I was helping her pack, I started to get this deep sadness down in my gut.
As I think of them leaving I feel like my inerds are being gutted like a Thanksgiving Turkey. My son will be going off to college, my in laws who we see or talk to about every day or every other day are going to be moving to Florida.
We go to church with them most Saturday nights. I talk to dad on the phone most days. My husband loves to cook for them. I’m really going to miss them.
A lot is changing this summer. I have to figure out who I am alone without some important people in my life.
My Pearl today is that I have someone I can call mom and dad and I’ve been able to spend the last 10 years with them. I get to miss them because I love them. This is a blessing and a Pearl.
Today I read this quote: Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man… It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition is gone, pride is gone. C. S. Lewis
So pride is about comparison leading to competition. If I compare myself to the other women I see and decide I’m skinnier and more beautiful or I’m bigger and uglier. The result decides how I feel about myself?
How do I decide if I look good to others? This would be one thing I still struggle with. I don’t know about you, but I don’t ever want to look like an idiot to others. I would like people to find me a person they want to respect.
So how do I decide if I look good? I think it’s based on the people around us and the culture we live in. We have decided what is acceptable and what makes a person look good.
Thank goodness I live in a culture that believes integrity and doing good for others is what makes a person worthy of respect.
Ultimately I should be comparing myself with what Gods Word says not the culture I live in. If I lived in a culture that found dishonesty and being selfish as a good thing would I think it’s ok? I hope not.
My Pearl today is the reality that I can compare myself with what Jesus expects of me and this should leave no room for pride. Because no matter how good I look, I always fall short in being Christ like in every way.
Today was a good full day of relationship building. It is a small small world. For 13 years I served tables in my small hometown of 2000 people. A woman who I use to serve regularly over ten years ago is now living about 2 miles from me.
The crazy thing is that I moved three hours away from my hometown and so did she. I found out she lived here through a mutual friend. One day they were discussing my little hometown and discovered that they both knew me. So we all met today for breakfast and it was an awesome reunion.
I’m just amazed how the Lord works in mysterious ways. Who would have thought that we would ever run into each other again. It goes to show that you should never burn your bridges, you never know when you will cross that bridge again.
After I met with the ladies we were able to celebrate a graduation open house for my best friends son. It was great to see all the pictures and memories.
After that we had a cookout with our church group. Which was fun to connect with everyone again.
Later we were able to go to church and hear a sermon on our thorns in our flesh. What struck me from the sermon was the fact that sometimes it takes hard things to help us become and learn what we could never learn otherwise.
I can look back over my life and see many things that I needed to go through in order to discover that Jesus really was the only one I needed. He showed up in a way that I never knew was possible. He carried me in a way that gave me strength that I didn’t know was possible.
My Pearl today is that the Lord still takes time to show me he is involved in the little things of my life. He has a way of showing up and orchestrating my life in just the right way and just the right time. Gotta love that Jesus!
Today was a fun day with work. I was able to help out a couple of my coworkers.
Autocorrect can really mess up your text messages.
Did you know that gps corrects to God? It did today. My text said, “God says 25 min.” I meant to say gps says 25 min. We had a great laugh.
We decided if we were going to ask God some questions they should have been much more important than the distance from my location to the next house.
I was thinking how grateful I am that hospice exists! How amazing that we have jobs where we can walk people across the bridge to heaven.
It gives me goose bumps. I just can’t think of anything more rewarding to do with my life.
I can’t imagine the concert of people who will greet me when I get to heaven? I will have a great welcoming committee! I wonder what they will sing for me when I get there? I sure hope it’s not, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”
I would imagine it will be something like how great thou art or when we all get to heaven, or fingerprints of God by Steven Curtis?
Today’s Pearl is the perspective the Lord has given me to see my job as a bridge to heaven and seeing it as an honor to assist precious souls across the bridge. Wow I am really blessed!
Today a patient shared how she is the only sibling left of her family. She was married twice and she has outlived both husbands and their parents. She was married for 30 years to each husband.
She is the oldest family member left. Her burial plot has been picked out between her two husbands.
As I heard her tell the story I wanted to cry. I could feel her loneliness in my gut. I can’t imagine how she must feel.
Her husband’s were both in the military and she stood by them through their service. I love to hear stories of my patients lives. They have much wisdom and I love to eat it up. I get to see a small window of their lives at the end and there is so much more to them than what meets the eye.
I’ve not thought about how it will feel when my siblings and parents die and I’m the only one left? I’m the youngest so this scenario could happen to me.
Most of my life I have not had close relationships with my family. Lately I have had the joy of getting to have a closer relationship with my sister and my nieces. It has been a nice change to feel like I have family.
So even though I have not been that close to my family, the fact that I was the only one left would be quite riveting. I can’t imagine what a person feels who is close to their family all of their life and then at age 80-90, your the only one left.
I think about this thought and I lean my chin on my hand and say humph. I just can’t fathom it. The perspective at 80-90 would have to be so different then when your 20 or 30 or 40..the list goes on.
I’ve always thought perspective is one of the most powerful things in this world. It can change everything.
My Pearl today is that the Lord gives me his perspective as I pray each day and ask him to help me make the most of this life.