On Monday Morning I got up at 3:30 AM to go through my Physical Therapy routine that allows me to stand up and function for at least 2 hours.
My flight was leaving Indy @ 6:40 AM, to arrive in Denver @ 7:40 AM. Denver is 2 hours behind us, it was a 3 hour flight.
Southwest does not have first class or assigned seats. I boarded the plane in the final group. They had announced it was going to be a full flight so I prayed, Lord seat me where you want me. As I stepped onto the plane, the first seat held to business men with an empty seat between them. They looked like the normal type of person and probably wouldn’t talk much, so I politely asked can I sit there, pointing to the middle seat. They both gladly invited me to sit, I was assuming they were thinking well at least she is a pretty young girl. I guess that is probably a conceited thought, nevertheless, I had the thought. Since it was a full flight, they were bound to have someone sit in between them. The look on their face was one of relief.
As I had assumed by these men’s dress and style, they did not try to make conversation with me on the entire trip and I was in the first seat so I had extra leg room!
The cabin lights went down and I was reading Susan Mead’s book, dancing with Jesus, a story about grief to grace. I don’t remember when it happened, but I noticed tears were streaming down my face. So glad the cabin lights were down and both men next to me where sleeping.
As I bowed my broken heart before the Lord, tears kept coming and I thanked him that I could cry because ten years ago I could not have cryed without loud sobbing noises. Here I was sitting in between 2 sleeping men and on a plane with many more strangers, whom I did not know. I was crying my heart out and was not even shaking. My breaths were deep, but I felt I was being cleansed as I offered up my broken heart to the Lord.
I told the Lord how betrayed I felt to take this trip to Denver, looking for someone to help me with my neck pain. I feel betrayed by my own profession. I am a RN caring for many people at my job and yet my own profession will not care for me. I didn’t become an RN to receive care, but I sure would expect it now that I can’t work. I surrendered my carreer to the Lord. I surrendered to what was happening and I accepted the position I was in.
Thank you Jesus for a cleansing cry to you. Only you can give me wisdom and heal my broken heart which sometimes I don’t even understand.
I love you Jesus, you are everything to me. If I never get to work as a RN again, I accept this possibility.
Thank you for hearing my prayers Jesus!
Your broken daughter,